The Long Way Around

When I was a kid, my folks adopted several other children. Four of them are siblings. Their birth mom is Renee.

When I was about 18, just out of high school, Renee came to visit. It was during the summer and I was home for the event. I was an angst filled undone teenager. My life sucked. I was cutting. I wanted to die.

One night, while Renee was visiting, we stayed up all night and talked. I told her things I'd never told anybody else. And she talked to me. We made a connection. I was upset and undone and she wasn't afraid of that. I remember that she held me for hours. It felt safe. It felt good. It was 5 in the morning by the time we went inside and went to bed.

Since that time, we've talked periodically. Not often. Not even once a year. She lives 4 hours from me.

On Sunday, Renee's partner, Kerry died. She died at home, in Renee's arms. Renee tried to save her but could not. Kerry's passing was not expected. I called Renee tonight. I listened to her for an hour. She trusted me with her rawness. I felt honored.

It's been almost 20 years since we first met. We've spoken less than 20 times. But we made a connection.

I'm sad for her but I know that with support, she will make it through, one breathe at a time.

HBK