There Was An Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly

I kid you not. As I was walking around MegaLowMart today trying to find the cheapest diapers for my child, a fly flew up my nose. What, you say?. Yup, the damn thing buzzed up my left nostril. How rude!

I immediately tried to snort it out but to no avail. I was left with no choice but to walk around the store with tears pouring from my eyes. It didn't hurt. Ok, yes it did. Having something flying around on the INSIDE of one's face is not comfortable in the least. It hurt. The tears weren't from the pain though. My body lurched into overdrive secretion production. I clutched a tissue and tried not to panic.

Sneezing a couple times just seemed to make the fly mad. Or more panicked. Or hyper. At any rate, sneezing did nothing but make the fly crash around harder and faster inside my face.

After about 15 minutes (no kidding), I was able to blow my nose and evacuate the fly. I've never looked at a fly in a wad of snot with quite so much relief before. Well, I don't think I've ever seen a fly in a wad of snot. Anyway, the damn thing was still alive and I thought twice before wadding up the tissue and throwing it away. Was this animal cruelty?

So, ya, that really happened to me today. Don't I lead an exciting life? I bet you're jealous as hell, aren't you?

HBK