DITL (day in the life)

starting at midnight because that's when this calendar date started

sleep peacefully. wake to screaming child. rush in to see what's the matter with screaming child. find out that child is screaming in pain - "owie legs, mommy." give child tylenol. rub child's legs until child falls back asleep. wake up with a start at about 2 realizing that i'm not in bed. look around and realize that i'm in child's room with child sleeping fitfully in my lap on the floor next to his bed. put child into his bed. wrap up in blanket next to child's bed and fall asleep. wake up around 4 to pee. go to own bed and fall asleep. wake at 5 when wife gets up. mutter unintelligible phrases. go back to sleep.

wake at 7 when child wakes. pour coffee. forget to drink coffee. fix child breakfast. clean up breakfast that child flings across the room because "it's not good". plop child in front of tv. shower. dress self. dress child. brush teeth. make an attempt at brushing child's teeth and give up. not worth all the screaming. find jacket that fits child. find both of the same pair of child's shoes. wiggle child's feet into socks and shoes. go outside to start the car. come in. feed dogs. put child's coat on. find wallet. find cell phone. put child's socks, shoes and coat on again. look for car keys and realize that they're already in the car. coax child out the door and to the car. buckle child into car seat. buckle myself into car. look for car keys to start the car. oh, right, car is already running. look both ways and back out of driveway. drive to stevi and deposit child at "school".

drive to missoula. find dr's office. wait in line. check in. wait in waiting room. talk to a coupla guys about the failed fire levy. look out the window at the smoggy missoula sky. follow nurse back to exam room. listen and nod. undress. put on figure flattering open back gown. wait. wait. wait some more. greet doctor. talk about moles. have mole removed. dress. find waiting room and exit through maze of beige hallways and closed doors. return to car.

drive to petsmart. get distracted along the way and go into second hand store. pick out a few things for my child. finish driving to petsmart. load cart full of dog food. follow terrified meow-ing and find terrified cats. they are waiting for their forever homes. feel sad. wait in line at checkout. pay way too much for 3 bags of dog food and 3 dog toys (christmas). call sweetie to see if i need to stop anywhere else in town.

drive to liquor store. browse. find expensive irish whiskey. choose less expensive whiskey. look around some more. pay. get into car and remember that i forgot to eat breakfast. dig around in car and find a bag of trail mix. eat trail mix.

drive south, past home, to child's "school". extricate child from block area. find both child's shoes and jacket. cram child's feet into his shoes. give up on the jacket. sign child out of "school". buckle child and self into car. drive home.

put child down for nap. make myself lunch. eat lunch! check email. climb into bed for nap. snuggle with cat until she gets up to eat. watch cat eat. watch cat vomit. roll over. listen to cat eat. listen to cat vomit. get up. clean up vomit. twice. watch cat eat. watch cat vomit. again. clean up vomit. again. call vet and make appointment for later today. send harassing texts to wife. laugh at the texts she sends back. send more harassing texts. pour diet pepsi. forget to drink it.

screw around on facebook until child gets up from nap around 1430. change child's diaper. play with child. answer phone. send more texts to wife. do "educational" activities with child on the computer. get cat ready for the vet.

load self and cat into the car. drive to friend's house to turn off her stove. take cat to vet. wait. talk about funny things dogs do. take cat into exam room. rub kitty's head when she gets a shot to stop the vomiting. talk to vet. decide to "give it until monday" and re-assess next week. get medication to give cat at home. pay. load cat and self into the car. drive home. again.

take cat into the house. look at the mess that i call a kitchen. turn around and walk out. it's too much. sit on couch and open computer. blog. chat with wife and child. discuss the weather. my child has icy cold hands from being outside. talk about my dr. appointment. talk about wife's dr. appointment. talk cat's dr. appointment. talk about dog's poop. roll eyes.

hear sirens. check pager. get boots on. find keys. tell spouse i'm going on a call. drive to fire hall. pull on bunker gear. haul fat ass into big red truck. hang on while joe drives like hell. laugh at crazy radio traffic. follow a parade of fire trucks who make a wrong turn. turn around with a parade of fire trucks. laugh at the parade. find the scene. check in. wander around trying to look useful. get cancelled (probably because we looked so good). wander back to big red truck. help turn truck around. ride back to florence. climb around on truck while fueling. pub flopping hose away (no, it's not that). tease joe as he backs big red truck into fire hall. climb out. peel off turn outs. talk with folks there about all sorts of very rude crap.

attend fire association meeting. laugh at inappropriate times. learn some touchy news. share my opinion too freely. find a chocolate stash and help myself. yummy. wander around fire hall trying to feel useful. decide to go home.

drive home. it's freezing outside. get home. wade through three wagging dogs. check in with sleepy wife. get something to eat. watch tv while i eat. be lap for sick cat. blog. think about day.

i am tired.

hbk