Turning the Train Around

I'm finally losing weight! I don't mean an agonizing ounce at a time over the period of weeks. I'm down to 206! I'm so proud! I started at 225. My goal is 175. I'm nearly halfway there! I'm so excited I could cry.

I've been working out. I don't mean just walking around the block. I mean working until I'm pouring sweat and keeping working for at least 30 minutes. Kara and I have been hiking a lot. I've been trying to do all my local errands on foot. I've been riding our stationary bike.

HBK

Spit Update!

I went to see my spit doctor today. Learned several things.

1. My estradiol (estrogen) levels are anything but normal. They're high overall. That is to say that they're high during the parts of my cycle during which they're supposed to be low. And they're low during the part of my cycle during which they should be high. Overall, though, they are high. This could be one of the causes of the migraines I experience.

2. My progesterone levels are LOW, as in almost non-existent.

3. My stress-hormone levels are high-normal.

4. I forgot what else she told me about other hormone levels.

Put all that together: I am peri-menopausal (no surprise to me). I am insulin resistant (also no surprise). I am obese (duh).

My awesome spit doctor things that she can help me with all of this. She put me on progesterone cream, some disgusting powder called medi clear, and metformin.

There's another concern as well that I don't think is quite appropriate for the blogosphere. She's very understanding though and willing to help me.

Let me just say that I LOVE my spit doctor!

HBK

Lonely

I'm lonely for my blog. I miss it. I miss having time to think of what to write. It's not that I have nothing to say. I do. I just don't have time to write it down.

Recently: Luken had a blast hunting for Easter eggs with cousin Mac.

First day of swim lessons today. Completely wore Luken out. He had a blast.

I've been working hard at working out. It's starting to feel like a habit. Next: diet.

I see my hormone doc on Thursday. I'm totally curious as to what she's going to say.

Wanted to say that the migraines are less but I have a doozie right now and I'm not so sure.

It's totally fun watching Luken grow and learn new things every day.

HBK

Milestone

So, I've been working hard to clean up my home. Today, I used my 100th white kitchen trash bag. Yup, 1oo bags since I started the massive de-clutter. How long have I been at this? 3 weeks? 100 bags feels like a lot. I've taken loads to donation centers. I've given tons to other people. And, I've filled and filled and filled my trash company issued bin weekly in addition to using empty space in friends' and neighbors' bins.

100 bags of crap that usta be in my house that is no longer in my house. And I can hardly see a difference. WTF?

I'm proud and overwhelmed at the same time.

HBK

Blodgett Overlook

Today's hike took us high high up through one of the burned areas of the fires of 2000. It was an up and back hike and there were parts of the trail still covered with snow and lots of mud.



On the way up, I noticed signs of spring.



At the top, the wind was stiff. It felt raw up there. The view was raw. The wind felt raw. My heart felt raw. For me, it bordered on panic. Such a raw view. I could almost hear screams coming from somewhere deep within. It was that raw. And so beautiful. Yes, beauty can be raw.



HBK

Playing with the guys!

I went out on a burn today.



I had a blast!



Now I'm worn out. It was worth it.

HBK

Ask the Fiddler

Time for updates and answers and such.

Lara, I don't have the results back yet from the spit test. I had an appointment today but had to reschedule it due to the results not being in.

Regarding the pictures on facebook: Yes, people have helped themselves to pictures I posted on facebook. I've seen them show up in other people's projects and in other people's homes. This in spite of me having asked them not to take them.

Yup, I'm lucky to know Khourt. Glenn Beck helped himself to a photo she posted somewhere of her family cloth (cloth wipes). How low the crazy can go, huh?

And good for you, Daye, for learning how to help a person who is choking. I hope that anybody who hasn't learned yet will follow your example.

Ok, 'nuff for now.

HBK

Whack!

Luken choked today. I don't mean that he gagged on his food. He choked. He was eating his snack or raisins and animal cookies and he had a couple cookies crammed in his mouth. They musta got in sideways and gone too far down. He was gagging and had no air moving in or out. No squeaking noises or anything. I quick grabbed him out of his chair and pounded him once HARD on the back. Out came the cookies plus some. He looked at me and started crying. I'm not sure if he was scared, hurting, or confused. Maybe all three. I'm sure he had no idea why I'd just hit him so hard. It scared me so bad that I had to sit down on the floor until my shaking got under control. He's fine and thought that it was funny that I was sitting on the floor shaking so hard. I'm shaking again writing this. It was terrifying.

If you don't know how to help a person who is choking, go learn how today. You never know when you will need that knowledge.

HBK

Mine!

I've been having an issue lately with people taking pictures that I post on Facebook. It pisses me off. I put them there to let people see them, not so that people can help themselves. Then, when I take away access, all hell breaks loose. Gees! What's a girl to do?

Am I being over sensitive or a control freak? Do you take other people's work when it suits you? It doesn't seem right to me. I am frustrated.

HBK

Migraine

I have had a migraine for about 2 daze now. Tonight it exploded. I woke up at about 1 in the worst pain ever. I seriously thought I might die. I took 2 Lortab and a phenergan and got an XS and an ice pack. Crawled back into bed and woke Kara because I was scared. She rubbed my hands until I felt a little better. I have such a sweet wife. I have a busy day tomorrow and I hope that this migraine shrivels and dies when the morning light hits it.

HBK

Cleaning

I live in a sty. I'm ashamed of that fact. But it's true. It's disgusting. I MUST change. I cannot continue to live this way. I need to have more respect for myself than this.

So I'm starting, little by little, to clean my home. I don't mean just swipe the visible dirt into a pile and move junk around. Nope, I mean clean. I'm going through every single space and every single item, one by one. If the item is something that I need or like or will likely use in the fairly near future or use often, I put it away. If I have more than I need, I keep the best one and donate the others. If it's something that I haven't used in years or that I forgot I had or no longer love or need, it goes away. It's slow going but in a week, I've more than filled our trash company issued household can.

I've cleaned off the top of my dresser and one of my small dresser drawers.

I've cleaned off three of the counter surfaces in the kitchen and have been putting the dishes away daily and cleaning the sink daily.

I've cleaned off the bathroom counter and sink and have been wiping it down daily.

I've cleaned 1/3 of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and 1/2 of the under-sink space.

I've also emptied all the trash and changed the beds today.

It seems small but I can see that it's making a difference. I started last week and I like the way that the few small clean spaces look. They are easy to keep clean once they are clean and have no clutter or crap on them. It's a good feeling.

HBK

Shame

For some reason, tonight I am feeling desperate shame. I do not even know why.

HBK

Talking

Luken just uttered a 4 word sentence!

"I dopped de ball."

HBK

Peanut Butter!

HBK

Like Mother, Like Son

All I can say is that Luken musta gotten the love of reading from Kara.


He sure as hell didn't get it from me. I hope he keeps it though.



HBK

Hike

Luken and I hiked again today at Larry Creek. The Fire Ecology trail there is perhaps my favorite local short hike. I'm getting better at it too! When we first started hiking, it'd take us 45 minutes to go to the first bench and back. Today, I hiked the entire 2.5 mile loop carrying Luken on my back in under an hour and a half. It felt good. Sure, I was winded but I didn't have to stop and rest and I felt good at the end of the hike.

Here's a picture from today.



HBK

Epileptologist Update

Luken had his follow-up appointment with the neuro doc yesterday. During the MRI, they found a small pineal cyst. Doc said that it won't cause symptoms and is nothing to worry about. Luken has had no more witnessed "spells". The doctor said just to continue to watch him and call if we notice any more "spells". For now, we have no follow-up and we're all clear!

HBK

Hike

Today Kara, Luken and I went for a hike. We hiked the 2.5 mile loop of the Larry Creek Fire Ecology Trail. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time!



HBK

Need To Blow Your Nose?

Evidently Luken did.

HBK

Baby Gym!

Today we went to baby gym. Luken LOVES going to baby gym! There is a pit full of foam blocks. The pit is usually the first place he goes. He'll slide down the slide and "swim" in the blocks.

There are tunnels to crawl through.


Things to peek through.


And more tunnels to crawl through.






He has so much fun! Today when we left, he waved and said, "Bye-bye". My sweet boy . . .

HBK