Dragons in the dark are scary. We can't see them. We don't know where they are. We can't tell if they're friend or foe.
But dragons in the light - well, those dragons are REALLY scary. Those we spend more than our energy to outrun, to hide from, to fence up. And it never works, at least not for very long.
Dragons make us fear them. And they they pull our fear and twist it around twisting, snarling, reaching out with tentacles that freeze us into some crazy grotesque shape that gives no hint of who we might have been prior to the dragon. Then we are forced to stay there, frozen in the fear, and stare the dragon in the face. It's like a game of chicken and the dragon always wins. Each time you can bear to face it no longer, your twisted grotesque form cracks and you try to turn away, to run, you close your eyes, you jam your fingers into your ears.
And you realize, with panic, that it's too late. Somehow you've become part of this damn dragon you've been running so hard from. You feel tricked. Bravery and courage feel hollow.
Your only choice is to stay and look at it. Look into the eyes of that dragon. Gather all that courage, hollow or not, wrap up the panic and channel it into some movement - any movement. In the tiniest of movements, in hidden eeked out moments stolen from the night, you slowly come to realize that this is a life and death fight.
You don't know why, but you know you must fight to survive. So you do. Over and over again. And it feels like razors cutting at your soul and you're afraid because it feels like you're going insane. None of it makes sense but you hold on because that's where the ride is taking you.
It's a hard ride. Some people run from their dragons their entire lives. I'm not one of those people. I plant my feet firmly. I gather the panic and focus it and it helps me move in a direction. A tiny movement maybe but it's something. I will look. I will be twisted. I will not shy away or hide my eyes.
So, Dragon, you've been warned. You'e better bring your A game because I'm tired of running from you and you are going down!
First Day Back at the Beach!
21 hours ago