Kiss The Fiddler

Ramblings, moments of humor, random thoughts, experiences, insights, simple wisdom, and whatever else I feel like sharing.

Monday, August 29, 2011

My Heart Is Breaking

Something's happening with my sweet little boy. I think it's more than his being three. He is out of control. He does the opposite of whatever I ask him to do. The throws toys to hurt. He bites (me, the dogs, anything). He kick. He is generally acting out much of the time. It doesn't seem to matter whether I'm please and cuddly, reward him, take things away, put him in time out, spank him, or send him to his room. Nothing works. I am in over my head

I feel like I live in a jail. There are locks on the top of all our doors. We are ruled by his tantrums and fussing. Nobody is happy.

What happened. I love my little boy so much and it's breaking my heart seeing him so unhappy. I can't seem to break us out of whatever this is.

I have minimally researched Sensory Processing Disorder. It fits. Like REALLY fits. I actually wondered about that when he was tiny and would throw a fit if I used a different sheet on his bed or if the sheet had a wrinkle in it.
We have an appointment with his Pediatrician tomorrow to talk. I am at a loss.

He's screaming in his room right now because he threw his lunch on the floor. I just put it away and put him in his bed for a nap and walked away, locking the door behind me.

I cry more over him right now that I've cried over anything in a long time. I feel so defeated. I feel like I'm not going to survive until we figure out a way to help him. I am so used up. I just want to enjoy by little boy again. I want him to be happy.



Anonymous said...

Heidi, have you researched how to treat sensory processing disorder? Hope you can find some answers fast!

MJ (Kay)

Anonymous said...

Heidi, Take a deep breath...deeper than the hundreds you've taken before. All children are different and some can be more challenging than others. This doesn't mean he has a disorder or needs treatment. My parents literally tied my sister in her crib a night because she was such a mischevious demon and they never knew what she might get into and do while the world slept. She grew into a perfectly wonderful adult despite the fact that her parents would be arrested today.

Parenting is difficult and a full-time job that will test you to your limits. It's suppose to be that way and you are not failing. You are doing your best every day and you love your child.

I have no idea how your day's go along,but I would suggest structure, orderliness and calm as much as possible. I've watched friends, relatives and seen kids come and go through daycare and school. Some kids can handle a lot of chaos but for some it's just too much and they seem to mimic their environment. Think about this...he's currently living with two brother's in a way. Are the dogs constantly chasing around and biting one another? I'm no expert for sure and feel free to tell me to shut up. I just want you to know you're fine and he's fine. More love, more work, more tears and you'll get through it.

Angie M.

daye said...

I think Angie M is a WISE person!

Heidi, my 3 year old is sleeps in a cage essentially. And EVERY transition is world war 3. As for freaking out because a sheet has a wrinkle in it? oh YEAH. ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is so inflexible and can freak the hell out for insanely long periods of time. It sucks. If there is anything you can do to abate your hardship with Luken then by all means try it but this new diagnosis. . .seems like it might be something many kids have that IS normal but just has a scary name like ADHD.
Please don't think I am making light of your situation, I'm not! But I honestly don't think Luken is abnormal. In some ways he is easier than Willow, you know I am telling the truth!
What I do with Willow is try and stick to a pretty rigid routine, and I also severely restrict her environment as if she were say. . .10 months old (Orson's age) but we had to have our house baby proofed for Willow long before Orson was mobile. Because just saying 'No' or 'Please don't do that' has never worked for us!
Also, I have been doing more reading and we are not spanking. I was always reluctant to spank but after my reading I am even more against it for Willow. I read that it makes some kids more prone to react violently. It made sense to me as I feel I ruined a Malamute by using too much negative reinforcement. . .but that's another sad tale. . .
Anyway, some kids need physical discipline so I am not judging, but for Willow, it's only causing problems. . .when she is older I may experiment more with spanking or switching but for now I am sticking to positive reinforcement and restrictions. . .and praying that things will get better!