The Gifts They Give

My sister, Larkin, 

in the period of one week,

has lost both of the family pets. 

One to a strange neuro thing.  

The other to bone cancer. 

One was expected. 

The other was not. 

I feel sad for her.  

It's a lot to lose all at once. 

And the ground is frozen right now

so graves are even harder to dig. 

Thinking about her family

and the loss of their sweet pets

gives me paws to dote on mine.  

So, come along, shall we?  

I'll take you on a tour

of the fuzzy

the clawed

the zany

the wagging

the slobbery fun

and neurosis 

that are my animal family. 

Meet Wailynn.  

Several summers ago, 

while working in my garden,

I heard a God-awful wailing sound. 

It didn't stop.  

I thought it was something dying. 

It took me almost an hour to find it's source. 

A tiny fizzy kitten

In a pile of rubble

in my neighbor's yard.

With a hornets' nest

Grown around the twisted metal

that made up the pile. 

I'm allergic to some sort of stinging thing

So sticking my arm in to retrieve this fluffy kitten

was no small matter.  

But, eventually, retrieve her I did. 

She became ours. 

And she grew.  

Into a 17 pound cat. 

She's moody. 

She's tetched.  

And we love her.  

Meet Fizz Dog.

Coupla summers ago, 

I was sick. 

Very sick. 

I spent months in bed. 

Fizz was a puppy, 

full of energy. 

But he spent hours with me,

In my bed,

Sharing his healing energy with me.

Fizz Dog is still kind of a puppy

And always a love

And kind of dumb.

Today I got home and he was trapped

in our cat house.  

Silly Fizz.

He's a great playing-in-the-woods-dog.  

His Partner In Crime is 

Belle

Belle is absolutely beautiful

and absolutely sweet.

She is so tolerant of Luken

and Fizz

and the cats

and me

and the neighbor dogs.

Belle is a gem.

When we're in the woods,

Belle runs

But always returns.

I think she's happiest in the woods.

And, when we're not on the go,

Belle doesn't hesitate to

settle in 

for a good long

snuggle.

We're lucky to have her.

Babette is our black fluffy cat.

She's shy.

And talks to walls.

And sometimes catches mice.

She doesn't really like to have her picture taken. 

We shave her in the summer 

because all that thick black hair

makes her SO hot that she just

goes limp like a 

floppy

black

rug.

She's miserable like that and when we do shave her,

she rolls around

and plays like a kitten.  

Silly girl. 

Babette gets along well with all our animal family. 

It's not at all uncommon to find her and Belle curled up together. 

They're both just sweet that way. 

And then there's Anika.

My old Siamese kitty.

With two dozen toes.

And with each toe, a claw. 

Indeed. 

Anika is over 20 years old 

and now, she mostly sleeps.

I give her IV fluids when she needs them

and pain shots to keep her comfortable. 

She's welcome to stay here

for as long as she wants to.

And when it's time for her to go,

she knows that's okay too. 

I've had Anika for a long time

and we've been through

a lot together. 

She sleeps next to my head at night

and sometimes, 

I think that her spirit

leaves her body 

and she travels.

Anika is quite tolerant of Luken

and has taught him about being tender

with things smaller

than he is.

She is wise

and I'm proud that

she's chosen to live with us for so long.

And then there's . . . 

Oh, wait!

That's not a dog. 

That's a boy!

Yes, that's my son. 

Who thinks he's a dog. 

Pets are such special

members of peoples' families.

I don't know why they choose to stay with us.

But I sure am glad they do. 

hbk

It's a bright witch's tit.

It's cold this morning.  

And where there's not fog,

The sun shines so brightly!

There are very few clouds

And this allows the temps to 

plummet.  

I love mornings like this

when I get to

sit on the couch

sipping my coffee,

under a down blanket

(and a coupla cats).

I'm lucky to have such

beautiful views, 

even when it's 

colder than a witch's tit. 

I had one of those,

A witch's tit.  

It was close to my armpit

And big enough to notice. 

Some people call

those silly things

a third nipple. 

I think witch's tit

is more fun. 

It got in my way, 

So, one evening, 

with the help of my sweet,

I sliced it off. 

One swift and sure cut

and gone.  

No more witches tit. 

Oh, my. 

Where did I go wrong?

Starting out  talking about

the beautiful day

and finding my way

to witch's tits.  

I need to get out more. 

hbk

What's More Fun?

Than doing something crazy

Like taking the family

Swimming on a very cold winter's evening?

Missoula has a very nice indoor pool and water play area. 

There's a zero depth entry pool with a slide

And splashing stuff for little kids.

Mommy, watch me!

Are you watching?

Did you see?

Luken loves to play in the shallows.  

He's beginning to learn how his body feels in water, 

that he's buoyant,

that he can hold his breath, 

blow bubbles, 

roll around and change directions.  

There's also a small open water part that's a bit deeper. 

He can't touch there.  

And there's a short "river"

The water is warm.

But if you do get chilled,

There's a hot tub to hop into. 

In addition to the features Luken enjoyed, there's a lap pool and 2 large water slides and their plunge pool.  It's all connected so you can float from one area to another without having to get out.  If you're ever in Missoula looking for something to do with the family, consider Currents.

When we finished our swim and returned to the locker rooms,

we found that some poor lassie had forgotten her boobies. 

Left them right there on the bench,

all naked and alone.  

Poor boobies. 

Luken thought they were hilarious!  

hbk

Ten to Fifteen

That's how many degrees F it is depending on where I take the reading.  It's winter, no doubt.

This picture is from about a week ago.  Today it's pretty grey.  Can you see the flock of birds in the upper right of the picture?  Cool, eh?

I think I'm so lucky to have these mountains right out my front door.  This picture was taken one day on our way to our favorite hiking spot - just a few short miles from our house.

hbk

Friday Night Down

It's Friday night.  Well, Saturday morning now.  And cold.  I'm in bed with at least one dog and 2 cats, all under the blankets with me.  There's nothing wrong.  We're safe and warm and fed.  But I'm depressed.  And I feel guilty for it.  Because we had an alright day. And a fun evening.  We went on a family "adventure" to the local swimming place.  We played and had a great time.  I had a migraine but was medicated so wasn't too miserable.  Then we came home and hung out and went to bed.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm in the dumps because I'm in bed alone.  Oh, I know, not so alone with Belle, Babette and Anika snuggled up all around me.  But Kara is sleeping apart.  She needs space and I get that.  

Coupla summers ago, I had a hysterectomy.  It damn near killed me.  It really did.  Anyway, I still have ovaries.  As far as I know, they're still functional.  Maybe I'm in the depressed phase of my cycle (or what's left of my cycle).  

Maybe it's the cold dark that has me down.  The cold can be both invigorating and sapping at the same time.  Right now, it's energy draining.  It makes my chest hurt to breath in it's cold air.  And the dark.  Although the days are getting noticeably longer, it's still dark more than it is light.  And when it's cold, I have to keep the shades drawn in order to keep the house warm.  

It could be money.  I found a fun looking automatic composter that I want to buy for Kara.  With what money?  We're beyond broke.  And it has me feeling panicky and trapped.  There is no quick fix.  Except don't spend it.  But we have debt so we have to spend.  What is it about money that is such a mind fuck?  

I'm tired.  And I have a migraine.  And I've been having spasms in the muscles in my back for weeks now.  They chase each other up and down either side of my spine.  It's like a race.  Which spasm can make me stop what I'm doing and try to bury my thumb in it first?  Sometimes the spasms feel like they're burning me.  No wonder I'm tired.  

And no wonder I'm feeling depressed.  Down.  Sad.  I really should give it up and go to bed.  Call it a day.  Give it up and give in to sleep.  Trust that tomorrow will come, first with grey light, then with pink then yellow over the mountains east of here.  And then I can begin again, in a better mood, in less pain, on a fresh page.  I hope. 

hbk

blizzard

I feel like I should write something

because, 

you know, 

I have so many "followers"

and all. 

But I don't want to. 

Because it's all cold

and snowing

and blowing

and icing

and my head hurts

and I'd rather just

sit here still with

a warm dog on my feet. 

hbk

Hey, Don't Squash Me!

The other day, friends of ours showed up to our front door

with

THIS!

Isn't it gorgeous?  

It's a Boston Marrow Squash.

An heirloom.  

Isn't it just a scene of beauty? 

Luken wanted to lift it.

The Squash (yes, I know that's a proper name) was too heavy.

Squash must have weighed in at 30 pounds.  

Beautiful as she was, it was kind of a beast to cut Squash up

into workable size pieces.  

Here you see how, when chunked up and cleaned of seeds,

Squash completely covered my kitchen counter and then some. 

And look at all her seeds!  That's a large bowl. 

I'd guess that we'll get about a quart of seeds from this giant squash. 

Some of the seeds we'll roast. 

Some we'll save.  And hopefully grow more beautiful 

Boston Marrow Squashes. 

I roasted all the pieces in the oven.  When they cooled, I scraped the orange goodness into a bowl and pureed it.  Into the freezer it goes for pancakes, pies, breads, muffins.  Yum!

hbk

Restless

The air is restless tonight. 

The flags show that the wind blows from the south. 

And it's warm. 

Fourty-three degrees an hour ago.

Thirty-three degrees now. 

With a mist of rain. 

It's the kind of night that's

unsettled. 

Dry leaves and pieces of paper 

that have been still in ditches

are pushed across the road,

making shadows that might or might not be a deer.

I don't like nights like tonight. 

It feels unsettled. 

I feel unsettled. 

My thoughts are hard to focus

but at the same time, 

they're more focused 

than I'm comfortable with. 

My thoughts,

like the shadows

go "bump" in the night.

And the wind pushes them

around and around and around

until I'm exhausted

and fall into an unsettled

restless

sleep.

hbk

Under the Slant Sun

When the sun is slant

over the mountain

into the valley,

 Where I live, 

that means it's 

Wintertime. 

It is too bright for pictures, 

eyes squint against

the glare of the sun on the snow; 

but entire bodies of

skin,

life,

beings,

 turn toward it

to feel the radiant

warmth.

This is the time of the sun

when the year is new

but bones feel old.

It's hard to remember

that under the snow,

in the cold,

there grows new

seeds

roots

life.

Shadows are long, 

long enough to have their

own stories.

Now though, 

light is stretching

longer

by seconds each day;

now long enough to 

notice the change.

And it's enough 

to be fed, 

for a few minutes,

that my spirit 

understands

And my resolve

strengthens

under the short warmth

of the slant sun. 

hbk

Somewhere . . .

Somewhere

midst 

changing beds

and 

medicating cats

and 

processing squash

and

cooking dinner

and

feeding the dogs

and 

cleaning up the spot where the cat threw up

and

feeding the cats

and

buying car insurance

and

answering the phone

and

the rest of my life,

I'm imagining

that

I'm sitting

somewhere quiet

and

enjoying a warm cuppa

sipping chocolate. 

hbk

It's a Roast!

Today, I found myself with an abundance of

veggies! 

Wonderful fresh veggies, just begging

to be eaten. 

It's a cool winter day here in western Montana.

What better to do with all these

delicious

veggies

than roast them?

Not much. 

And it's so easy!

I washed them and cut them 

into similar size pieces. 

Then I arranged them on a foil lined

baking sheet. 

I arranged them so that the colors

were displayed

artfully, artistically, 

beautifully.

From left to right

broccoli, carrots, fennel, beets, brussel sprouts, radishes.

Then drizzled the veggies with

balsamic vinegar

and EVOO.

And sprinkled them 

with sea salt.

See, looks good already!

Then I put them in the oven

at 450 degrees

for, 

well,

until they were al dente 

when jabbed at with a fork. 

Loaded up my plate and

YUM!

All caramelly.  

Is that a word?

Caramelized. 

And most delicious!  

While I was at it,

I roasted some

little sweet pumpkins too.  

These will be scraped out of their skins,

pureed, 

put in zip lock bags,

and plopped in the freezer. 

hbk

The Land of Lego Fun!

This year, 

For Christmas, 

Santa brought Luken

!!!Big Boy Legos!!!

And really, 

there's not

that much 

to say.

Except

Thank you.

hbk

Squish!

What is this stuff?  

Luken got it for Christmas. 

I thought, "Awesome, sensory kid activity, right?"

I guess we'll see. 

One box of the stuff is made with 1 litre of hot water

And makes enough squish

to fill a bread bowl.

A bread bowl?  Really?

The box said "baff".

Which I took to mean "bath".  

So I thought about it for a minute. 

I'd seen this stuff before. 

Somewhere . . .

Yup!

It's the same goop that comes in disposable diapers!

You know, how when they get wet, 

they get heavy

with some gel-like substance?

That's what this is.

So, being the type of person who thinks 

"more is better", 

I cut up a coupla diapers,

saturate them with hot tap water, 

and squeeze the gel crap into the tub.

This, of course, brings great joy!

Hours of playing commence.  

Luken plays here for at least an hour

which, for him, 

is quite a big deal. 

So much to scoop, measure and plop!

Non staining. 

Non toxic.

The stuff even stayed pretty warm

for the hour or so that 

Luken played in it. 

Although I'm not sure

I want to consider WHY it

may have stayed warm. 

It was diaper gel, after all, wasn't it?

What happens when the fun is over?

Well, turns out that regular old table salt

dissolves this stuff. 

And with a little water, 

it runs right down the drain. 

I sure hope it was okay

for our old 

septic system. 

Time will tell, eh?

In the mean time, 

be squishy!

Experience life with all your senses!

hbk