Growing Pains

I love my son dearly. Don't get me wrong. He makes my world go around. And he utterly defeats me. He has this defiant streak a mile long. He comes by it honestly but holy shit, it wears me out! Bedtime is a circus. He sleeps in a tent that fits in his toddler bed. The tent gets zipped shut and the zipper tied so he can't unzip it. It's the only way he will stay in bed. Trust me, we've tried giving him more freedom. It doesn't work. There are many tears about going to bed. I don't know if he's afraid or if there's something else going on. Even in his zipped tent, he manages to roll (with the tent) all over his room and knock things over, get wedged into stuck places or play with the radio. I'm at a loss.

Our pediatrician suggested a reward chart. Luken has been asking for his own camera. I don't know where he got the idea that there were cameras just for kids. At any rate, he wants one and asks for one almost daily. So I decided to make the camera the reward. In order for him to earn the camera, he must earn a sticker in each square. In 2 days, he's earned 3 stickers.

He has a chance to earn 2 "stay in bed" stickers each day. And he can earn as many "potty" stickers as he wants. Today, he only earned one of those. He is fully capable of using the toilet. He knows when he needs to void. He can be in charge of that. I'm not going to push, just offer or suggest. If he chooses not to use the toilet, okay. If he does, he gets a sticker. His choice.

He helped me make the chart and it's taped to the wall at his eye level. He talks about it several times a day. I wish I knew a way to motivate him to succeed. He gets so defiant about anything that his mama or I suggest that it feels like I'm beating my head against the wall. So frustrating!



Obedience is another thing we're working on. When he is asked to do something, I expect that he comply quickly, without fussing. Most of the time, he flat out refuses. Our pediatrician recommended that we implement time outs. Okay. Easy, right? Wrong!

I made him a "time out spot" that is easily recognizable and portable. When he is sent to time out, he must sit on the "time out spot" for 2 minutes. If he leaves the "spot" he gets redirected. Mostly we end up fighting about staying on the "spot" and there is lots of crying, thrashing, yelling and general fit throwing. There's something I'm missing. I'm open to suggestions from time out savvy folks.

HBK