Today has been a hard day. I have another migraine. It has to end, sometime, doesn't it? I am doing everything I know how to do to prevent these terrible headaches. Preventing them is best. Because effective treatment options for me are limited. This headache started yesterday. The bright light and slant shadows across the road in the early morning started kicking it off as I drove to church. I was able to breathe it calm. But it came back again, full force, in the afternoon. And all night. And this morning. The pain increased throughout the day until I had tears running down my face for no other reason than the pain. You know the pain scale? 0 being no pain, 10 being worst pain ever? Tonight I'd say it's a solid 8. That's pretty harsh. Pain like this scares me. I feel like I have no control over it. When the pain is less, I can often breathe it away. With pain like this, though, I can't. I've taken all the meds available to me and still not getting much relief. It's hard not to panic.
I go in tomorrow for extensive allergy testing. I hope I get some information I can use.
I am so done. I feel defeated. At the end of my rope. I feel like my options are being taken away from me. My personhood is being whittled down from a competent creative mother to a pathetic woman with migraines all the time. This is NOT who I am! It has to change, doesn't it? I hope so.
I need encouragement. I'm trying so hard and nothing is working. I'm asking for your help and support. Tell me it will get better. Please.
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