Last week, I sent an old friend a text saying hello and that I was lonely. Got a text back saying that she was busy. Ouch. Ok, I know that she lives halfway across the country and that she has her own life. But it still hurt. Haven't heard from her since.
I'm trying to find "mommy friends". I'm attending play groups. They are fun. But I'm still lonely. I don't feel like I can really share my life. The play groups are about babies. That's good. But I still feel like I need more.
I feel selfish. I have so much. I have a wonderful wife and a dear sweet son. I have lots of people who support me. I feel selfish because I want these great people who support me to not keep me at arms length. I need some closeness. I want contact. Emails are nice but they aren't warm. See, I'm selfish.
Selfish AND lonely.