Kiss The Fiddler

Ramblings, moments of humor, random thoughts, experiences, insights, simple wisdom, and whatever else I feel like sharing.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I am sad. I didn't go to ballet today. I let my own damned body image keep me from going. I am huge. I am a beached whale. I HATE my body! I want to cut! I should cry instead.

It's hard how working out and trying to learn to live in my body brings up so many difficult feelings. This sucks.



Jennifer said...

I hear you. I feel these things too... maybe not as strongly as you do? But it's awful, even when I'm eating well and working out and losing weight, every time I step on the scale and the numbers have gone *down* I'm scared and happy and feel guilty for being happy... and... it just goes on and on and on.

It's the only body I get. So I'm trying and trying to love it.


Marilyn said...

I can understand self conscious body images. I hope that you soon realize you are a beautiful person and any one who can't see that isn't worth your time.

montanasnowbaby said...

For what it's worth, I have never looked at you and said "Whoa. Look at that beached whale!"


Sorry, I shouldn't joke about this subject...but I just want you to know that you are WAY harder on yourself than anyone else. (At least that is what I keep telling myself when I have the feelings you were talking about above.)

HANG IN THERE!! It's a journey for sure...but I am PROUD of you for trying. I don't have the guts to go to dance class. YOU ROCK!!