Ha ha! Just kidding.
But I have made what feels like a momentous decision. As of today, I am finished nursing. I have terrible migraines. I need to be free to treat them pharmaceutically. I need to be finished with the hormone storm. I need my body back.
I realize that now breastfeeding has been filling more of an emotional and physical need rather than a nutritional need for Luken. There are some days when I put him to bed and realize that I haven't nursed him all day. I will miss the closeness that nursing gave me. It felt good. I am sad to no longer nurse by baby and at the same time, I'm relieved. I'd dreaded this decision. I'm glad to have the decision part over with.
I bet that Luken won't miss nursing at all. I bet he'll ask for boob once or twice and fuss just a little but then settle quickly into his bottle and cuddling. I think I'll miss it more than he will.
So, here we go onward. On into the next phase of motherhood. On into the next phase of my life.
I've also decided to made a concerted effort to eat better. A coupla years ago, Kara and I did the Schwarzbein diet together. At first it sucked. Then we started to feel better and it got easier. I want to feel good like that again. My migraines diminished when I was on that diet. My thyroid regulated. My cycle regulated. I felt better than I had in years. That's my goal. To eat better. Go get healthy. Go feel better.
I'm sure when I feel better, I'm a better parent. I'm more interactive, more creative, more active. Here's to health! Here's to Luken!