Hi all. I'm a week in now. On Intro stage 1 still. I've let go of any expectations of spending a day on each stage. I woke this morning with no migraine! My body still hurts, but not as much as it did to start. I feel a bit more upbeat. My mind can make about half a thought now without completely fogging out. Today I got up (after a crazy late and exhausting night last night) after sleeping in and cooked a nice breakfast for my wife and kid. I drank my warm water (with weak coffee and cream, cause, not everything at once), and took my fclo and pbx pill. ready now for broth with added cooked mushrooms and cooked carrots. I'm still dumping toxins and other stuff. I have slime coming out all over. It'd gross. And I think I may be starting to lose some water weight. I'm down to 218 (from 225 a week ago). Things are looking up.
I forgot to mention a strange bit. I'm blowing my nose non-stop and it's been very productive. Also, I'm a firefighter. Anyway, today I blow and blow and blow then look around because I smell smoke. It's the certain smell of smoke from a structure fire. It's bad smoke (all smoke is bad but some is, well, badder.). Then I realize that the smell is coming out of my nose! So I think back. When was the last structure fire I was on that I "sucked smoke"? That was late this past summer. I think that is a good marker for me as to where my body is in going back in time detoxing. I know that my body absorbs toxins when I'm on a fire. Yes, we take precautions. But it's part of the job. Even being very careful, sometimes firefighters breathe smoke. And we work around all sorts of toxic stuff. Anyway, my nose, anyway, is working on detoxing stuff from, oh, September-ish. It's stinky structure fire smoke stuff. Kinda makes me laugh.
It's now about 5pm. I'm cooking dinner. For myself and for my family. For me, chicken broth, about half an onion and thinly sliced carrots. I got brave and shaved a tiny bit off a frozen cx breast, cooked it in ccnut oil and added it to my soup. I do not like chicken. But I'm eating it. Because it will heal me. Yup. For my family, I am cooking a GAPS friendly turkey sausage, onions, green beans and carrots. Luken will love it!
I'm feeling proud. Today is the first day since I started GAPS that I have gotten out of bed when I woke up in the morning and stayed out of bed all day. Not only have I stayed out of bed, I've gotten shit done! I've deep cleaned part of the kitchen. Not the whole thing, as was my goal, but about a third of it. I'm trying not to beat myself up for not doing more but I understand that I gotta start somewhere. Don't get me wrong. I'm tired. And I'll be ready for bed tonight. But I have stayed UP all day! I'm not usually able to do that. And I still don't have a migraine!
I'm afraid to hope. So many times I have hoped and worked hard and it hasn't helped. Help me hope, ok? And be patient with me when I fuck up. Because I will. I approach this journey with a fair amount of fear.
Twelve Years Apart
3 hours ago